This is an old post from my tumblr but I thought it deserved a second life here. Read on if you are willing to consider boxing metaphors and preppy McPrepperton stylings….
I hated my old white lamp. Nothing wrong with it, I was just bored. So I decided to let George Foreman pummel me until he was so exhausted that he bought me a new lamp.
Actually, I realized that I could easily fit my lamp into an old vase I hardly use. I have been looking for something more masculine for my apartment, and thought of nautical rope.
A quick trip to Home Depot provided the 20 feet of rope I would need. 20 feet! I had figured I’d need 5 feet. Goes to show that coiled snakes are much longer than they appear. (Yikes!)
I coiled the rope around the lamp rope-a-dope style, pushing it flush with the sides of the vase. I made sure to pull the cord up as I worked. When done, I secured the cord down the side of the vase with tape. It’s not pretty, but it will always face a wall.
Now I have a new lamp that can always be reverted back to a boring white lamp and a vase should that huge flower delivery arrive when I win my next match.
*Spoiler Alert,* Over a year ago, A accidentally bumped into this lamp and it smashed into a million pieces. He saw me writing this post now and asked me what ever happened to this lamp. He completely forgot he broke it. That’s what I like to call a POWER MOVE.
Thank god I finally have a blog where I can write my cheesy puns in peace. I was working on a staging job which called for much more furniture than I had hazardously stacked in my storage space. So a trip to my favorite thrift store in Palm Springs was in order. I can never go with out buying something from this shop, and alas, I came away with this large vintage elephant table.
It’s sort of Pier One-meets-Golden-Girls, where Blanche marries a former colonialist on safari and this table is on her “African” themed lanai kind of piece. The couple next to me assured me that it was “fabulous,” but it now sits shoved in a corner mocking me. When my husband and I talk about the “elephant in the room,” it’s literally this one!
I tried a little rehab, which looked like this:
So now it’s more of a child’s nursery room table in a world where one puts loosely set glass- topped tables in a room where children play. That trunk could poke an eye out! For my next attempt I’m thinking fuchsia, olive green or even gold? I still think it could make an excellent entry table, or you know, a Craigslist “it’s on the curb now so come get it” ad.
I’ve had “Bear City,” the theme song to the fictional SNL TV show about a town full of bears in my head since winning this vintage California state flag on eBay. It all started two weeks ago when Andre and I were discussing the best state flags. I think California wins, bear none. (Thanks and sorry.) New Mexico has the best license plate for sure, but I love our state’s flag in its stark simplicity. These old canvas flags can get quite expensive, but I got lucky because this one is SO dirty. I was already researching ways to gently treat stained flags when we unfolded it from the package and thought- it looks great!
It’s currently living in Andre’s office behind the giant, wall-supporting X, because really, what else fits there?
Decorating a Joshua Tree proved problematic….do you have any idea how sharp their points are? I read a crazy Karen Russell story in The New Yorker about a woman who’s pricked by a joshua tree on a hike with her husband. Afterwords, she convinces him to move to Joshua Tree and she plants herself in the kitchen with her hands pointed up to the sky. This is exactly what happened after I hurt myself while decorating this tree. But with swearing. Lots of swearing.